Brrrrr...

For those of you out there who may run across this and think you're going to sleep tonight, don't continue.

Still here? OK, don't say I didn't warn you.
(Deep breath)
I got "The Eye" from an old lady today. When I say old I mean if she was under 85 I'm a rich Democrat. I ain't. Either one.
When I got home from work today I noticed I no longer had a lawn as it had been replaced by a tropical jungle. This seemed odd since I live a little North of Atlanta, but being the genius that I am I immediately deduced that it was time to cut the grass. Bear in mind that the temperature at that time of day in Georgia lately is the major cause of traffic because cars are not meant to drive with the tread of their tires 6 inches below the surface of semi-liquid asphalt. Therefore I decided it would be best if I did not mow in my jeans and new silk shirt. (see, I told you I was smart).
Well, I got the back yard done first since it always grows fastest and thickest for some reason, which may or may not have to do with the three dogs we used to have back there, and had completed about a third of the front yard as well. I was now, excuse me ladies, soaked. In the country music video - pickup truck commercial way that's supposed to drive women wild and makes my wife say "Eeeewww, go get a shower!! Don't touch me..."

Where was I? Oh yeah..

So there I was pushing the mower wonder if I'm going to die of a heat stroke when I see motion out of the corner of my eye. I glance over and catch this little old lady staring at my backside. When she saw me looking (it took a second for her eyes to get that far north) she hit the gas. I was simultaneously flattered and REALLY creeped out.

On the plus side, that cold chill down my spine helped with the heat. For a minute.